16 Things To Do This Summer

I'm deviating from my normal post-naming method because this post is mostly a list. It is still the Fifty Sixth Post, it's just going incognito.
While taking my daily stroll around my development, I was struck by the temptation to run through sprinklers. This is, I believe, a typical summer activity, but I couldn't let go of the idea. My list of things to do this summer began thus:
1. Run through someone else's sprinklers.
2. Get the paper route three blocks up if that stupid guy ever returns my calls.
3. Start the job at the concessions stand.
4. Go to San Francisco with my family.
5. Save $3,000 so that I have a shot at not bankrupting myself in England.
6. Tutor the (understandably) crabby 13-year-old for money, I hope.

This is hardly a practical list for other people. Most other people are not getting a job at a local baseball team's concessions stand, going to England in the fall, or going to San Francisco with my family.
Because I am going to be bored and lonely this summer, even when my jobs start up, I decided to google some lists of things to do in the summer, then make my own list.
Most of them are stupid, teenage-specific, regional, or for large groups. As I am not stupid, teenaged (turned 20 last September), in the regions specified, or a large group, I saw immediate flaws in my plan. However, I have sifted the chaff from the wheat (or, perhaps, collected the diamonds from the dog poop) and created this list for you single twenty-somethings just off college with all your friends far off and neither steady job nor car in a small-ish town. The list is designed by (and therefore for) a lonely introvert. Half the things are there to get me out of the house and around people so that my family and I don't hate one another and so that I have to take a bath sometime.

The List of 16 Regionally Unspecific Things To Do By Yourself During Any Summer For 20-Somethings
1. Read x books. "x" will take on any number assigned to it, so set your own value for x. For me, x=20 new books. You lot might get a list from me sometime. First up: Tess of the D'Urbervilles (Thomas Hardy), Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë), and Guards! Guards! (Terry Pratchett). Do mix "classic literature" with more recent, light-hearted selections. It keeps things fun. You should also consider re-reading some old favourites to ease the mental strain of reading new books that you may or may not like. Try to turn in old books that you don't like anymore at a second-hand book store for store credit, or just use the library. Personally, I like to have books that I've read on my own shelf. It looks more impressive. Also, second hand books give your books that well-read look, are fairly cheap, and sometimes have cool old covers. My only problem is that I like all the paperbacks that I have and the main source of my book-trading doesn't take hardcovers.
2. Learn a new language. I plan to continue with German, hopefully aided by my friend who will be interning over there.
3. Do Something to earn money. Yard sale (recruit your mom or other more experienced female and offer her a percentage), lemonade stand (recruit a small friend or relative and offer it some free lemonade, or maybe a percentage if they get pushy), car wash (may require too much recruiting for a single, friendless person. Call upon siblings if you must.), paper route... (Except for the paper route, all are good for social interaction.)
4. Finish a project. I have a scarf and three bags that are in the works as we speak that have not been touched since... September. And another scarf that I started last week. Oh, and that half-done crochet owl...
5. Go swimming. Cliché, I know, but with no pool membership, no friends in the US with a pool, and no local pool anywhere near me, I still plan on being fully submerged at least one time this summer. This counts for at least a week of social interaction due to the traumatizing effect of being in a swim suit in public and in a pool or body of water that probably includes shrieking children.
6. Go to a farmer's market. Another cliché one, but they are the source of many delights. Fresh vegetables in larger quantities and variety than I can grow at home? Yes, please. Also, helping local farmers is apparently a big deal. (Also, social interaction! Good for up to three days, depending on how violent the other shoppers are.)
7. Ride a bike Somewhere. If you, like me, are currently... in the market for a bike, as it were, then find a cheap old one. That's my plan, anyway. It is my intention to ride a bike to work at the concession stand because I feel lame driving the car that I might not have three minutes, but I don't like walking alone at night. If you are too broke to get a bike, steal your brother's for the afternoon. If he actually uses his bike, or doesn't have one, then walk, scooter, or (maybe) rollerblade. Get yourself to an ice cream place (it's okay if that is McDonald's. I won't judge, and ice cream is ice cream.) or the 7 Eleven (a good 10-minute drive into a sketchy area of town for me) for a Slurpee (®/©/™/whatever). Only rollerblade Somewhere if you want to bring a bag of shoes, or if you have a decent walk-up espresso place nearby (Dutch Bros. springs to mind, or one of those cool local affairs). This also gets you social interaction, hopefully only enough for one day. McDonald's might push it to two and a half.
8. Overuse parenthetical phrases. (Done!)
9. Flag down the ice cream truck instead of just swearing at it for interrupting your nap. It won't make the music go away faster, but you'll at least get overpriced ice cream for your trouble.
10. Plant Something. I'm working on several bonsai, but those aren't the most instantly gratifying plants ever. Getting to a store for seeds or plant supplies will suffice for at least one day of social interaction, while the following time spent with a plant will help calm your nerves after that traumatizing event.
11. Watch the back episodes of your favourite TV show. I have no hopes of finishing even the new series of Doctor Who this summer, and I can't seem to find the old series on DVD. Let me know if you have any hints on where I can find the complete original series for cheaper than it ought to be.
12. Make a gourmet version of something normal. Lemonade, ice tea, pizza, tomato and cheese sandwich, ice cream, whatever. If you don't have something snobby in your mom's cookbooks, try google. For instance, I made fancy kebab-y things today instead of having... something else, like the three-day-old chili that's slowly going bad in the fridge. This fancy cooking thing generally requires going to the grocery store, which is enough social interaction for at least two days. Alternatively, if you are exceptionally clever, willing to plan ahead, and able to accept defeat, you can go to the farmer's market and get fresh (no really, fresh) ingredients for your fancy-schmancy meal. Drawback: sometimes, that one thing that you need is not there. Deal with it and get everything else, plus some strawberries.
13. Clean my room. This one is personal. I also need to clean the garage, a task at which I failed last summer. This has the added benefit of temporarily stopping my mom nagging me to clean my room and contribute to the household. In mom's defence, she doesn't nag that much unless I'm really pissy for some reason. It's possible that I'm perceiving nagging where there is none.
14. Go yard sale-ing. If nothing else, this can give you a sense of relief about all the crap that's not at your house. It can also serve as your weekly dose of social interaction. I know I swear off people for at least three days after a yard sale, depending on how early I got there.
15. Run through someone else's sprinklers. I guess I just really like the idea of an adult doing that by him- or herself.
16. Become ambidextrous. If you're right-handed (like me), learn to write with (or just use) your left hand. If you're a lefty, you're probably not too bad at a few things with your right. This is useful mainly in the area of crime-committing. Using the opposite hand can throw the cops off your scent. I suppose you could also use this skill to impress your friends, write on the back of spiral notebook or binder pages,  and have some insurance for when you break your dominant arm doing something stupid.

Fifty Fifth Post

Just to let you all know, Google is now creeping on you and using my blog to do it! That's right, I gave into the man (and my empty wallet) and signed up for Adsense. Don't click things because you like me, click them because they look genuinely interesting (because I can get in trouble otherwise). 

Hopefully the ads are cool and you like them, because it would be freaking awesome if this was an actual money-making venture for me. 

By the by, since my last post I have been hired by a place that starts up in June, contacted by a guy for tutoring his grade 8 daughter in maths, and applied to about a dozen other places. I've also had my housing issues at University of Sunderland mostly resolved (see these posts on my study abroad blog for the whole story there), and my visa issues are starting to look less insurmountable. None of my plants have died, and I'm going to an old friend's wedding on Sunday. Life is actually looking up right now. 

Forty Fifth Post

I'll be upfront. This is a rant post, almost related to Fortieth Post (I think). If you don't want to read a rant about Hulu, just hit the little x on the tab for this blog. I do feel a little bit bad about ranting. I mean, I can rant to real people; I don't need to full up the internet with my anger.
Oh, well.
I have a bone to pick with Hulu Plus.
As a rule, Hulu provides me with free television. When a show ends, the whole thing ends up on Hulu. Free and whatnot. All seasons. All. Of. Them.
My obsession with Legend of the Seeker will be on standby for a while, at least until I can afford season 2 on DVD.
F***ers. I adored that show (*coughCraigHornerisreallyhotcough*) and now a small joy that is rather too large is gone.
Gone!
Those f***ers stole my television show! It should all be on there! ALL OF IT!
I'm not paying a cent, and I should get to see all of these episodes! The show is over! WANT!
Oh, Hulu Plus has it?
Newsflash: I HAVE NO MONEY!
Well, not literally since I got some for Christmas, but that's all going to my jan term class.
No. Money. Hear me, Hulu? I don't have the money to pay for these television shows! Your job is to provide me with free television shows, not to make money!
Oye. All of Heroes is online -- all freaking four seasons -- but only one of the two seasons of Legend of the Seeker is up for free?
What.
The.
F***.
What the f***, Hulu? Why do you deprive me of my Craig Horner? This might force me to find a hot guy in real life! How can I function like that?
In real life, I'm not very interesting. I can make any situation awkward, and I never know what to say to people.
Television shows are an escape for me.
This might make me face real life. And I don't want to deal with that now.