The life and times of a normal university student

29 March 2012

Back in the States

I've been back in the states for a few months now, and I'm really starting to get the reverse culture shock (whenever I have the time to think about something that isn't upper-division chemistry or speeches that I have to write and deliver, which isn't often; American uni is harder than British uni). I find myself walking down the street missing Sunderland, of all places (I had a distinct day where I hated the whole place down to the paving stones), missing pasties, missing people being able to pronounce pasties without sounding oddly profane... I miss people who say "to-mah-to" instead of "to-may-to", and I miss how oddly uncomplicated life is when you're living with people with whom you share no history.
I miss the days of the only drama in my friend group being that my roommate was being a bitch about something stupid or eating other people's food (I strongly suspect her of eating an entire half-package of soft cheese the weekend I went to Liverpool, and I was only gone for a night). Back here, one of my friends is turning uni back into high school, with her complicated, dramatic view of how friendship should work.
Here, for your viewing pleasure and also my personal ability to understand my life, is something of a schematic of why I miss my England friends:
Linear Complex Bio Major: is attempting to reinstate the clique mentality of american secondary school. Is not really speaking to High Valence Biochem Major. Fancies Unfortunate Biochem Boy. Bosses Distressingly Unknown Accountant and Myself as much as possible. Sees all decisions made by anyone in friend group as involving whole group; has a strong "we" mentality. Is enormously frustrated by single-ness; this manifests itself in her scaring off any friendly boys, much to her continued and compounded frustration.
Octahedral Biochem Major: has a much looser view of friendship. Is best friends with Unfortunate Biochem Boy. Is not really speaking to Linear Bio Major. Gets along fine and does not try to boss Myself or Distressingly Unknown Accountant, although she does tend to bulldoze the planning. Still, allows friends to be otherwise engaged without being offended.
Unfortunate Biochem Boy: is male. Is also most eligible junior science major bachelor who is determined to remain a bachelor. Does not fancy Linear Bio Major back; may or may not suspect that she fancies him. Is sometimes clueless about why the females that surround him are angry. Is a decent lab partner and generally decent friend in spite of some core dickishness, as revealed by conversations between Myself and Octahedral Biochem Major.
Distressingly Unknown Accountant: tries to avoid making decisions. Ends up being a bit of a pawn. Like Myself in this way, just times twenty thousand. Personal thoughts are largely unknown, but often professed to be known by Linear Complex Bio Major and English Major, her roommate.
English Major: is generally nice and sweet and a generally good friend. Lent Myself $20 and has not asked for it over the past month (guilt). Tends to follow Linear Complex Bio Major's theory of making decisions for others via the "we" groupthink. Tends to boss Distressingly Unknown Accountant, her roommate.
Myself: is pissed at the drama created by Linear Complex Bio Major and Octahedral Biochem Major's clashing. Misses simplicity found in England. May or may not fancy Unfortunate Biochem Boy; is flat-out determined not to actively pursue him. Is lab partners with Unfortunate Biochem Boy, wherein a reasonably good friendship has sprung up. Feels that, aside from not being awfully ready to pursue a relationship due to a need to figure out self first, most relationships that seem attractive would cause awkward tensions.

So. The main thing that's been unfortunately camping out in my thoughts is that, in England, relationships, even non-platonic ones, were socially simple. Logistically, not so much, but one could hook up with a guy without worrying about offending two of one's closest friends. Sure, the guy in question was my dearest England  friend's boyfriend's best friend, but that was all we had in common.
In the unlikely event that Unfortunate Biochem Boy asks me out, I will have alienated Linear Complex Bio Major, who would see not using my influence with him to nudge him towards herself as the deepest form of betrayal. She will in turn take it upon herself to alienate me from Distressingly Unknown Accountant, which will likely also alienate me from English Major. Also, since he is besties with Octahedral Biochem Major, that relationship might be strained. They talk about everything, which would not bother me in the slightest, since I understand the relationship, but I wouldn't want to harm their friendship. If Unfortunate Biochem Boy stopped being as close to Octahedral Biochem Major, I would feel really bad. Although it's not likely to be a problem, the implications loom over me like an upcoming doctor's appointment. They probably won't find anything horribly wrong, but what if they do? So I stress.
See? See what happens when people get histories? Much better when the only thing shared by all parties is the fact that they live in the same flat, or know people who live in that flat.

Other things that I miss are the smell of british tobacco smoke (which is emitted by tabs, not cigarettes or the hookah that stunk up my whole house tonight, and is generally smelled when hanging out with my British friend), pizza places, chips, pasties again, public transport, and the lack of daytime rain. The close proximity of grocery stores like Aldi (where real food could be purchased for £1, or less than $2) and the fifty million news agents, supermarkets, and fruit and veg stands that populated the three blocks surrounding my flat are also sorely missed. I have to walk ten minutes up hills to get even to a (british-type) supermarket, found in the states as convenience stores attached to gas stations. These walks are not associated with any sort of commute. The cheapest grocery store is also the furthest away, of course. 
I also miss drinking and dancing. Parties big enough to have drinking games are full of strangers that only want to play pong and who don't want to dance and parties small enough to want to play drinking games are populated by non-beer-drinkers. I miss the casual drinking, where you know that someone has got your back, even if they're just as drunk as you, and they won't leave you at the club. I miss the siren songs of dubstep and rave music pounding through my body as I relax in the anonymity of a club and allow my body to thrash around, not really caring if I can match the rhythm of the music or the person next to me. 


I'll be investing in air freshener to ward off any hookah stink that might make its way into my room (although keeping my door shut has done wonders so far tonight) and possibly also investigating the potential of Richmond cigarettes, the smell of which I didn't mind in England and which I rather miss, although I'd need to be stealthy and not get addicted or make my clothes stink of the smoke. That being said, I probably won't. I'm spending most of my disposable income, of which there really is none, on food and booze lately.